Matthew P. Haubert
Composer, Poet, Artist
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Name in the mirror
A poem from my book Trauma Songs and poems of a failed life I wince each time my name appearswritten by my hand, spoken by another’s. Letters that once meant nothingnow carry every storm I never escaped.Matthew.A word that tastes like old wounds,a sound that drags the past up by the throat.When I see it,…
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Curtains
Song from my Songs and Poems book, recorded Matthew P. Haubert Verse 1Keep the curtains shut, I’m not coming out today,Light feels like questions I don’t have the strength to face.Every sound outside my room just echoes what I fear,People living like it’s easy, like the end is not near. Hide away today from the…
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Dialogue with the Voices
circa 2018 Matthew P. Haubert Self:This blank paper tortures me—the yelling, the screaming of my name.It says to me: Write. Write. The Voices:You told yourself you have something to say?Dare I ask—what? Who?Who are you?What is so important, so magnificent, so beautiful about your mindthat you feel this desire to write,to compose thoughts to be…
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Effort
You can survive almost anything.That’s the truth no one tells you. I have fallenmore times than I can recount wincing at every memory mistake.Whole seasons of my lifespent building things that collapsedwith my own damn hands. And still —I am here.Not untouched,but intact. We make suffering into something impossible to overcome,like a mountain only certain…
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Concept EP album based on love and loss
Concept Album on love from my book Songs and poems of a failed life Matthew P. Haubert Track 1 Darling Verse 1 And I still stare out my window Almost every single night And I still dream of our memories As the years pass me by Bridge I wish I could change The last five years Undo my mistakes Make time disappear Chorus Darling,…
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Calm down signal
I wake up in mid sentence, heart already answering crysof questions I didnt ask forAdrenaline spelling m name wrongover and over it repeasts,like its trying to take over meI sit to prove I still can, but i keep renegotiating,but no ones there,but empty airI call it focus, my doctor calls it historymy body calls it…
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Meaningless
Matthew P. Haubert, feeling down No one visit my home, my cheap tricks only last a moments.Farther away from me, the safer people becomeEasy to tell if im spiraling down, uncut hopes of hair, dirty clothes, stuck inside praying for courage to go outside.If I could escape my life pretending to be satisfied I would.If…
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Last call, still broken
Tempo: ~70 BPMKey: G Major Verse 1GThe bar’s half-lit, the night’s not done,Dsomeone’s arguing with a clock.AI’ve been sitting in the same spotEmsince they started counting shots.GThere’s a song I almost recognize,Dplaying softer than before.AEveryone looks like they’re waitingEmfor someone else to go. Pre-ChorusCI thought leaving would feel louder,Glike something breaking clean.DTurns out it’s just…
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Addicts Curse
Matthew P. Haubert Adrenaline receptors firing offbody in overdrivecan’t stopcan’t stopmeaning the body needs to stopbut I can’t adrenaline overdriveamphetamine overrideadrenaline—impliedamphetamineamphetamine Nobody used to work nightsnobody four-countcome down to pay periodnothing adds upnothing lands what do I do nowwhat should I doon this calm down been hereso many times beforestill don’t knowhow to handle it…
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Two Nights with recording
Matthew P. Haubert From the book songs and poems of a failed life Two nights, 36 hours, countless drives,to find the light to spark our eyes Insufflated to the brainstem,until the blood leaks,a mixture of chemical and organic compoundnow enters and exits me Can’t remember the moments minutes before,everything’s so fast,can’t seem to just get…
