A song I found buried in an old video — back when I was young and first into amphetamines, when the nights felt endless and everything felt electric. This is the other side of that. What it felt like when the control slipped away. Written exactly as I felt it. 

[Intro]
[fingerpicked acoustic guitar with alternating bass]

[Verse 1]

I’m up in a knot of sorts
One from your irresistibility
It’s unstoppable
When you’re in control
It’s a captivating feeling
It comes from your torturing crystallized eyes
And you got my thick bloody heart dangling from my own eyes
And God it’s so isolating
It keeps me anticipating
And that’s what keeps me coming back for more

[Chorus]
[guitar continues rhythmic picking]
I’m so fucking obsessed with her
And now I never sleep
Your mortal sparkle is killing me
But you cut me off, excluding, detached
From my friend’s and family
And now my sense of belonging only longs for you
And though I want you gone
To have real value to my life
But those days I’m afraid are gone ’cause I’m afraid to be without you

[Instrumental Break]
[solo with folk-style bends]

[Verse 2]
And now I look up
Surroundings come into play
No electricity, no heat and the mail brought me some more debts today
I’m so cold, so alone
At least you’re still by my side
A broken glass mirror of white love that’ll keep me going and then I’ll die

[Outro]
[melody returns]
[guitar slows to a final strum]