What Does My Brain Think Without Poison in the Blood
A poem from the book “the things cornfields keep”. Available free now on Amazon Kindle for 5 days. Link below the things cornfields keep (The Fracture & Form Chapbook Series 4) https://a.co/d/0htNd2oV Drove 100 mph trying to outrun my anxiety,Landed at a friend’s house,Where the house was filled with meth and fentanyl,People on couches look…
Tonight – a song about anger of life
This one is raw, loud, and angry. It’s a song about despair, about shouting at God, and about the question so many of us carry: why does everyone feel this sad? It’s not an easy listen, and it’s not meant to be. Content note: this song deals with suicide and suicidal thoughts. If it hits…
The Only Second There Is
An unfiltered essay on regret, memory, and the only second that’s real, written from the wreckage and aimed at the next right choice.
Still Here: The Songs I Wrote in 2026
A collection of the songs I’ve written in 2026. Some are fully fingerpicked folk, some are raw voice-and-guitar sketches, and some are still finding their shape. Thanks for reading and listening. Content note: many of these songs deal with addiction, overdose, and suicide. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 (the Suicide…
Still here, Why?
I wrote this a year after my suicide attempt. It’s about the hospital room, the anger, and the strange quiet that came after.
October Opus 1
New solo piano “October Opus 1” evokes the final days of autumn, when the warmth of the season has begun to disappear and winter can already be felt in the distance. The music moves between restless motion and quiet reflection, like a solitary journey through an October landscape at dusk. There is a feeling of…
Amphetamine Psalm
I wrote “Amphetamine Psalm” a year ago, in the worst stretch of my life. I had lost a job I loved at Sweet Smitty’s, survived an attempt, spent time in a psychiatric hold, and gone straight from discharge into a stimulant binge. I wrote parts of it while it was still happening.I’m sharing it now…
Demon
Dreamingof drug-dark comas to cure myselfof the pain of the world before me. My curious mind wants to destroy every road that leads back to me,to set me free of a life that has become me.I want it gone.My existence wants to be set free. I ruminate on what I’m not doing,overthink everything about myself.…
Numb to the burn
I’ve been staring at the ceiling,waiting for it to grow lips,whisper something.The hours keep bleeding.Heart’s a slow, ambered cigarette,smoking down past the filter,the last protective line,while the world keeps turningand I fall out of time.I don’t flinchwhen thunderstorms hit.Nothing gets in,not even fires from hell,not screams from the damned.I’m numb to the neon,cold to the…
Real suffering
I want a house with a movie-script family,but instead I’m boxed inside a drug-stained apartmentstacked high with regrets. In my lonely chair, I rehearse old dreams,but time presses its boot on my back,crushing the last pieces of who I thought I’d become. Dirty carpet. Mold-rotted sinks.Family heirlooms buried in dust and shame.Clothes twenty years old,…
Then I Woke Up
poems Contents Myth or Thought Reality My Cocktail Ignored Ruined Still Lost I Swear! Body Aches New Morning Days Bathroom Mirror Untitled What Waited at the Top Ascension Myth or Thought My days are wearing off — do I become a myth, or just a thought? The nights go unremembered, lost forever, out…
How I see myself
Bathroom MirrorStaring back at meis the face of delusion—scabbed and tornfrom the poor judgmentsof my younger years.I try to wash it away,down the drain,away from my eyes,so I don’t have to see.But I scrub and scrub,and still everything I hatestares back at me.I can’t get rid ofthis putrid self I made—the one living in the…
Some poems and thoughts
1How can I love if I do not love myself?How can I feel if I do not feel the love?How can I be afraid when there is nothing to lose?How can I be saddened when I have nothing?I feel like the rain with no garden to feed,I feel like the storm with no thunder to…
“Blackberry Summer”
Indie acoustic folk, fingerpicking Verse 1 Barefoot on the gravel where the county road runs outYou had purple on your fingers and a laugh I can’t live withoutWe didn’t have a dollar, but we had the whole damn dayAnd a basket by the creek bed, and nothing much to say ChorusOh, stay a little longer,…
Moonlit Dissonance and the Small Hours
Album #2 in my classical piano journey is taking shape, and it’s a step up from Tranquillamente composition wise. Four pieces/ideas so far, each with sheet music you can follow along with: Moonlit Dissonance is the centerpiece. It’s built on tension that doesn’t resolve the way you expect.2:14 a.m. (Interlude I)3:37 a.m. (Interlude II)Impromptu No.…
Raindrops
A melancholic alternative song about distance, loneliness, and the things that keep falling after everything else has gone quiet. Written first in 2021, I was going through harddrive after hard drive after recordings, and I recorded this song in a Iron & Wine type open tuning, and it was raining on that crappy phone recording.…
The House With a Movie-Script Family
There’s a version of life I always was picturing when i was 16, a house, a family that looked like it was out of a movie script, like my giant family as a kid when I was young I thought I would have that. But years passed and I looked up and ended up as…
Drowned – SoundCloud
Listen to Drowned by Matthew P. Haubert on #SoundCloud https://on.soundcloud.com/CyBYngnopzgcD8jyuc Wrote this on my field recorder just one take made up as I went stream of consciousness, layered it 4 times on the computer to sound like someone whose in and out of consciousness between life and death One voice is the alive…
Stain
A song in tribute of style to Damien rice [Verse 1]There’s a stain in my room that I can’t forgetIt’s from when you were so drunk one nightYou threw up and we laughed about itAnd this hope’s all over my clothesFrom cigarette markslaughing and letting the embers get to lowtwo of us talking so fast,…
Five Years Gone
A companion piece to Nocturnes for Ordinary People The demos are on autoplay on this page before I hit the studio, some are different styles but the albums arch is complete. Also another bonus, attached is my lyric book thats constantly being updated, theres more songs than the final playlist playing, but you can see…
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