Listen to Drowned by Matthew P. Haubert on #SoundCloud https://on.soundcloud.com/CyBYngnopzgcD8jyuc

Wrote this on my field recorder just one take made up as I went stream of consciousness, layered it 4 times on the computer to sound like someone whose in and out of consciousness between life and death

One voice is the alive person, whisper one, is the dead spirit, the high voice is the regretfull part of me. The end of the song really twist them together, like they are arguing with each other, in turmoil.

Lyrics:
The rain came down
Like somebody
That finally
Starts to listen
Rain came down
Like somebody
Who started to listen
And I couldn’t tell if I was crying
Or if the sky was just
Like me and grieving
I took so many pills
I’d been saving
For this night
That all my doctors named
All my friends named
Pretentiously said
They didn’t understand
Every street
Is a little longer now
Every
Window blurs the same
I called you once
I called you twice
I watched the little silence
Wait on your name
Should I have been there with my love
And I thought
Oh maybe this is what I deserve
To become a story we can tell without remembering
So I walked towards the river
With my old town underwater
As I stepped closer
My shoes filled with rain
My tongue began to gag
On the water
And it was too heavy to pray
But I laughed
At the traffic going by ’cause they couldn’t see me
And I couldn’t stand the cry
I said look at me now, I’m finally doing something you can’t ignore
And it was so cold
And the river
Kept moving
Pulling me under
Like it had somewhere to be
And I was just part of the show
And I hated that it was taking my moment from me
Because
I wanted the world for once
To stop and see
I just want somebody
To run through that rain
And scream my name
Like get
That everything to them
I wanted everyone to be wrong
I wanted every person
Who looked away
To wake up tomorrow
And understand
And then I heard myself whisper
If I disappear
Just to prove that you don’t care
And you still
Get to be right
Well then that faded ’cause the rain kept falling
And I sank down
And my memories
Couldn’t remember what
I meant to write
And while I was drowning
I found a sentence in my pocket
That started with, “I’m sorry”
And I couldn’t decide who it was for
You or me
Everyone who’d ever answered
Maybe nobody
Maybe the only thing
I wanted to leave behind
Was the screams of somebody
Finally telling the
True
From the lies
So here it is
I was angry
I was lonely
I wanted you to notice
I wanted to punish you
For not loving me
But I don’t want my death to be the proof
That you were right to leave me alone
So I stay there
In the river
Until the storm
Got tired
And my cheeks grew blue
And when the morning came
I was no longer the angry or pain
And I was still lonely
As before
And I was still here
And somehow
It was the same
As before