Matthew P. Haubert, feeling down

No one visit my home, my cheap tricks only last a moments.
Farther away from me, the safer people become
Easy to tell if im spiraling down, uncut hopes of hair, dirty clothes, stuck inside praying for courage to go outside.

If I could escape my life pretending to be satisfied I would.
If I had the courage to live the normal day to day id been a better human than what my soul is doomed today.
Stuck on a path to death, the devils gift.
Giving me a easy out to leave my late night sadness behind for eternal burning of my flesh and soul.

Take away the texts at 2 am of old past pictures to people who have moved on.
Waiting for one response that they are happy to hear from me.
But no surprise no one answers.
My nostaligic wonders and words.

So stuck in my apartment until the next eviction comes through.
Until im homeless again, I keep the lights on as long as possible,
because im afraid of losing my eyes and dying alone in this bed.