Verse 1
Your phone always laid face down on furniture
Like a magician’s coin, always landed tails
Never used to think too much into it, personally
But I was wrong, it turned into the first
Of several magic tricks you spelled on me
I admit I was a gullible crowd, but in hindsight
Give a man dinner, with a warm bed
And he’ll believe anything you ever said
Even though you would shower twice most evenings
Said the workout was really a workout today, and it was, I guess
Just not for you and me

Pre-Chorus
Every Friday you were “stuck at the bars with friends”
I pictured you with every man you’ve ever been
I should’ve pictured it more vividly
I should’ve asked what “friends” was code for
I was too busy turning my head away from it
Which, in retrospect, is a joke at best

Chorus
You said his name in your sleep once
Real soft, like a prayer you don’t speak out loud
I didn’t wake you up or ask about it
I just laid there, calculating the meaning, when I already had the answer
I lost the version of “us” I’d been bragging about
To everyone who asked how we were doing — “great, it’s going great, honestly”
I lost the me who used to believe in miracles and things
Just because someone he loved took them away
You said I was all you ever wanted
Which I now understand was true
Right up until that first drink
And you didn’t think that any of it would ever come to this

Verse 2
Found the first clue sometime in March, some motorcycle guy
Two towns over, you’re not even creative about it
Told myself it was another friend thing
Because apparently that’s a version of the truth I had to believe in
Found the second clue in June and thought, well
At least he’s consistent, and reliable to that
You looked me dead in the eyes, yelling I was crazy
Which was an impressive act, really an Oscar performance
I’ve seen worse reviews than what was inside of you

Pre-Chorus
Every Friday you were “stuck at the bars with friends”
I pictured you with every man you’ve ever been
I should’ve pictured it more vividly
I should’ve asked what “friends” was code for
I was too busy turning my head away from it
Which, in retrospect, is a joke at best

Chorus
You said his name in your sleep once
Real soft, like a prayer you don’t speak out loud
I didn’t wake you up or ask about it
I just laid there, calculating the meaning, when I already had the answer
I lost the version of “us” I’d been bragging about
To everyone who asked how we were doing — “great, it’s going great, honestly”
I lost the me who used to believe in miracles and things
Just because someone he loved took them away
You said I was all you ever wanted
Which I now understand was true
Right up until that first drink
And you didn’t think that any of it would ever come to this

Bridge
Funny thing is, I would’ve forgiven you for anything
A whole speech prepared, apologetic and evolved
Something about how love is complicated and all
Something I definitely stole from a song I heard before
But you never gave me the chance to press play
You just let me keep building us a fake house for the next matinee
Another performance you knew was already ruined
So — genuine question, no bit here —
How do you kiss someone on a Sunday
Knowing exactly where your mouth was on Thursday?
Is there any part of you that thinks how cruel it was
Or was it just ignored, like the weeks and years before?
I spent ten years trying to be enough for you
Which is objectively a waste of time already
Because at first I didn’t want anything to do with you
But after a chance, somewhere around year three
Things were going great, you see
But you didn’t mention you were fluent in messing up the past
You were using me as a plug to your heart
But it never stopped bleeding, and started rotting out

Final Chorus
You said his name in your sleep once
And I got up, and packed a bag
No crying, no throwing your things down the hallway
Which, credit to me, I should’ve done
I lost the trust I apparently built on none
Smashed the ring, which I never should’ve knelt for
And everyone says the truth will set you free
Which is a beautiful lie that’s told to people like me
What it actually does
Is increase your imagination after midnight
You said I was all you wanted
While you were always out somewhere
And I’ve had a lot of time to think about that
And I still don’t have a punchline, because I can’t fathom being that mean

Outro
Your phone still sits face down somewhere now
In my peripherals, I dream it’s there
Even in this new apartment you’ve never seen
No shower running twice on a Tuesday
No names of other men spoken at night
Just me, and a peace of wondering why
The silence after a joke that didn’t land
And if you ever wonder whether I miss you
I do, but it’s me I miss, not you
The one who used to believe you
And I’m working on forgiving him
It’s taking longer than I thought
You took almost all of me with you
When I said enough was finally enough